I woke up today with a little bit of anxiety. So, thank goodness today was day 1 of empower. My body and mind… okay, more so my mind, needed it.
I had a lofty to-do list for today and had some decision-making on my mind. I am not the best decision maker and it often takes me years and years (or hours) to make up my mind.
Today’s hard decision-making was based on my weekend coming up. Do I ride with a friend to Houston for great company or do I drive myself so that I have my own wheels (i.e., freedom of time for getting there, leaving there, and hanging out with other Houston peeps)? Do I hang out with one of my best friends on Friday night that I love so dearly or do I spend this weekend all on the bride-to-be? I know, I know.. I should be lucky that I have friends to hang out with, that I have arms to drive, and etc. First world problems!
But, these questions are real to me. I have the “I want everyone to be happy” syndrome. I fear that I will let down a friend or two. I don’t like that feeling. It makes me uncomfortable. I am a self-admitted, always working-on-it “people pleaser” and a “yes” person. We all have our pros and cons, friends… and here I am being vulnerable, admitting some of my biggest weaknesses. But I’m okay wit ‘dat….
What I realized today is that yoga can bring some things to the surface. Day 1 started with the first 28 minutes of the Heart (Phase 1) video. I decided I would take on the first half in the morning and the second half during my lunch break. I had to hustle and bustle this morning to get my to-do list done, ya know.
But what happened later on was a very cool thing. I found myself yearning to start the day over. To press pause on my crazy mind and do the video in full during my lunch break.
You see, I don’t want to cross Empower off my to-do list everyday. I want to allow it to alter or influence my thoughts and everyday patterns. I want my daily yoga practice to empower me. Not cripple me. I did the video in full and felt a peace come over me. I realized that I can help myself get over the discomforts of my hard-decision making issues simply by asking questions. A few of these questions include:
- Do I want to be dishonest and not say what I truly feel? Or do I want to be open, honest, and comfortable with my decisions?
- Do I want to be a time waster and fill up my time with more to-do lists, tasks, extracurricular activities, etc. or do I want to appreciate time and spend it wisely, leaving time for relaxation, play, and company?
- Do I want to be a worrier and make decisions based off fears? Or do I want to check in with myself and base decisions off of wants, desires, and reality?
Very important lessons I learned on the mat today. I am very thankful for day 1 of empower and am looking forward to this journey.
Side note: Cali did yoga with me again today so the pic is of us in child’s pose. And with that… namaste, friends!